Heros Journey Pitch Take 2

What was some of the constructive feedback that you got? What were some issues with your story and pitch?  What are your next steps in the process with it?  What are the major challenges that are preventing you from getting greenlit?  How can you solve them?

    Some of the feedback which we received for our pitch was that the concept of the kid's narration was interesting, confusion regarding the conflict, plot, and archetypes, and issues with the presentation. Some of the major issues with the story was that the characters for the archetypes which we included did not fulfill the roles they were meant to play, i.e., the mentor and herald were essentially nonexistent and the shadow's role was unclear. Additionally, some of the hero journey steps didn't effectively meet the requirements either. Some issues with the pitch was the unclear presentation; lack of defined roles, lack of transparency for how we created the idea, and the poor presentation of the conflict. Our next steps are to doctor what we have in order for it to actually be a hero's journey. The major challenges which prevented it from being greenlit were the lack of clarity in our presentation, the lack of conflict, and the lack of characters who meet the requirements of their archetypes. To solve these issues, we are adding additional characters who will fulfill the roles, we will be potentially reshooting the interview with the child in order to include our changes and/or using clever tricks to make it seem as though the kid said the new additions to the story. To solve the issues with the pitch, we spent the night working on it to fix the issues with the presentation and make our idea more clear.